another season, another blog?
Friday, March 26, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
if you're looking for real love...
It's so hard. How can it possibly be worth it?
I'm so disillusioned sometimes. Likely to stop trying.
What does it mean to really love somebody anyway? why does my character constantly have to be refined? Why must I always ask for forgiveness? turn away from immorality ? hold my tongue when i'd rather get my revenge ?
IT'S TOO HARD.
But somehow, it might possibly be worth it. All this falling down. All this struggle, confusion, pain and longing.
...
I loved these last two months, even though some battles were better fought than others.. There were big pitfalls and small (in my eyes) triumphs , not much that I expected. But for some reason, (coming from someone who is quite hard on myself), I feel this is okay. Each step I'm glad I took. Each repentance leading deeper into His heart. Yes. At the end of the day (& sometimes at the beginning), I want to know His heart.
As this might very well be my last post from Israel, I wanted to reflect a bit.
These last days here have reminded me of Jesus' words: "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me"-john 13:8
I don't get it all the time. It means something I can't even fathom. God, what do You mean "Unless I wash you"?
Take the dirt, take the stain, take the bitterness and waywardness. I'm done with everything but You. Even if it takes me having to say that (and mean it) everyday. Don't know if I'll ever get the hang of it, this side of eternity.
Goodbye Israel. I did my best for you, but somehow I think the only thing that matters now was that I was learning to love you. Just remember. Serve the Lord your God, and Him only. He's the only refuge & the only one that never changes. Israel, you can do this. You have to be strong. It will take some challenge, discipline, and courage, but it will all be worth it.
I'm so disillusioned sometimes. Likely to stop trying.
What does it mean to really love somebody anyway? why does my character constantly have to be refined? Why must I always ask for forgiveness? turn away from immorality ? hold my tongue when i'd rather get my revenge ?
IT'S TOO HARD.
But somehow, it might possibly be worth it. All this falling down. All this struggle, confusion, pain and longing.
...
I loved these last two months, even though some battles were better fought than others.. There were big pitfalls and small (in my eyes) triumphs , not much that I expected. But for some reason, (coming from someone who is quite hard on myself), I feel this is okay. Each step I'm glad I took. Each repentance leading deeper into His heart. Yes. At the end of the day (& sometimes at the beginning), I want to know His heart.
As this might very well be my last post from Israel, I wanted to reflect a bit.
These last days here have reminded me of Jesus' words: "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me"-john 13:8
I don't get it all the time. It means something I can't even fathom. God, what do You mean "Unless I wash you"?
Take the dirt, take the stain, take the bitterness and waywardness. I'm done with everything but You. Even if it takes me having to say that (and mean it) everyday. Don't know if I'll ever get the hang of it, this side of eternity.
Goodbye Israel. I did my best for you, but somehow I think the only thing that matters now was that I was learning to love you. Just remember. Serve the Lord your God, and Him only. He's the only refuge & the only one that never changes. Israel, you can do this. You have to be strong. It will take some challenge, discipline, and courage, but it will all be worth it.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
in the beginning
in the beginning was nothingness.
the hebrew translates as "chaos" too.
i'm feeling pretty chaotic today, God.
pretty empty inside.
things out of order, unformed, out of control.
i am a dark, massless thing.
God Himself was hovering over me,
over the waters of me.
with a desire to form me somehow,
to make something out of
the nothingness of me.
with just a
few words
He brings light,
something good.
i bathe in the width of it,
still untouched by divine hands.
what is the light of the world if not
also something that reveals my chaos?
How good, but how bitter too.
to see how i really am.
He gathers the expanses, forming.
He works in the light and His hands are like
glowing embers, melting and molding as he goes,
leaving nothing untouched, unseparated.
It becomes too much for me
to see this sprouting beauty.
I want to be like it.
I want to be part of it.
with meaning,
with wonders,
with miracles.
each one, one by one,
coming alive.
keep molding me, God.
the hebrew translates as "chaos" too.
i'm feeling pretty chaotic today, God.
pretty empty inside.
things out of order, unformed, out of control.
i am a dark, massless thing.
God Himself was hovering over me,
over the waters of me.
with a desire to form me somehow,
to make something out of
the nothingness of me.
with just a
few words
He brings light,
something good.
i bathe in the width of it,
still untouched by divine hands.
what is the light of the world if not
also something that reveals my chaos?
How good, but how bitter too.
to see how i really am.
He gathers the expanses, forming.
He works in the light and His hands are like
glowing embers, melting and molding as he goes,
leaving nothing untouched, unseparated.
It becomes too much for me
to see this sprouting beauty.
I want to be like it.
I want to be part of it.
with meaning,
with wonders,
with miracles.
each one, one by one,
coming alive.
keep molding me, God.
Monday, January 25, 2010
general update #something
spying on people going into a (church?) across the street .
i'm sitting in capiot, my favorite cafe ever, using free wifi and writing the last bit of my paper. i'm loving every day & especially the fact that i'm no longer in classes ! i'm writing, reading, drawing, taking pictures, going to pubs, speaking hebrew, taking walks on every beautiful day and this is probably the best thing i could ask for.
also, i stumbled upon some cultural faux pas:
1. apparently, it's really rude to put your feet up in public places, like on the bus or in the movie theatre . (two personal experiences there, haha) ... (but not rude to cut in line..??)
2. if someone says "yom tov" (have a good day) to you, you should always say "gam l'ach/le'cha" (and to you)
Friday, January 8, 2010
Hungering and Thirsting for Righteousness
Again, if anything I've written can be checked by somebody who knows more than I do, by all means, discuss in the comments.
בסייד
"blessed are those that hunger and thirst for righteousness , for will be filled." -matthew 5:6
Blessed in this context means 'happy', 'satisfied'.
There is the Jewish idea that those that fulfill mitzvot (righteous acts) will bring about deep spiritual happiness. In stricter Jewish terms, "mitzvah" refers to one of the 613 commandments in the Bible. My orthodox friend here in Israel was describing to me the fulfillment she finds in carrying out the commandments of the Torah and Talmud. Some example of mitzvot are more physical like giving to the poor, and some are more spiritual such as having no other gods before Adonai, our God.
When I read again Jesus' teaching : "blessed are those...for they will be filled" , I see that he had this framework in mind: doing good deeds is what we as human beings were made to do. The author of the book of Hebrews emulates this idea to those believers in the Mashiach (Messiah of Israel): "spur one another on towards love and good deeds" (10:24). Happiness and good deeds go hand and hand.
.
This song my friend posted on her facebook has to do with hungering and thirsting after the Living God, who is our sole source of righteousness.
בסייד
"blessed are those that hunger and thirst for righteousness , for will be filled." -matthew 5:6
Blessed in this context means 'happy', 'satisfied'.
There is the Jewish idea that those that fulfill mitzvot (righteous acts) will bring about deep spiritual happiness. In stricter Jewish terms, "mitzvah" refers to one of the 613 commandments in the Bible. My orthodox friend here in Israel was describing to me the fulfillment she finds in carrying out the commandments of the Torah and Talmud. Some example of mitzvot are more physical like giving to the poor, and some are more spiritual such as having no other gods before Adonai, our God.
When I read again Jesus' teaching : "blessed are those...for they will be filled" , I see that he had this framework in mind: doing good deeds is what we as human beings were made to do. The author of the book of Hebrews emulates this idea to those believers in the Mashiach (Messiah of Israel): "spur one another on towards love and good deeds" (10:24). Happiness and good deeds go hand and hand.
.
This song my friend posted on her facebook has to do with hungering and thirsting after the Living God, who is our sole source of righteousness.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Jesus as a Tzadik
[I hope I'm not misunderstanding some of these definitions or concepts. Feel free to discuss in the comments.]
בסייד
Today's daily portion of scripture gives an account of a blind beggar calling out to Yeshua--he calls him both Son of David and Rabbi. Yeshua asks him "What do you want me to do for you?". The blind man said, "Rabbi, I want to see." And, because of his faith, says the text, the man's sight was restored. (mark 10:46-52)
Most non-Jews read the accounts of Jesus and the miracles as something really extraordinary. Of course it's extraordinary--to have a blind man see again! But I mean extraordinary in a different way. While I was reading, I was reminded of the stories of tzadikim, mostly rabbis in the past, who have performed miracles like this. Perhaps, in his day, Jesus was regarded as a tzadik, a truly righteous person whose prayers were heard by God. Perhaps these people had seen miracle workers before, or had heard stories from their parents and grandparents. Certainly, the prophets had performed miracles. Therefore, the idea of a man doing miracles was not so outlandish in that society as it might be in ours. So what made Jesus different from the other prophets and tzadikim?
Wikipedia entry on tzadik:
Many definitions of Tzadik have been passed down through the ages, including the one mentioned above from the Talmud, but the definition I am interested in is from the Bible.
Scripture explains that there is not only nobody who is tzadik, but also no one who is good.
That means even the especially pious rabbis or miracle works are not truly righteous, in the complete sense of the word.
Jesus himself purported the view that no man is truly good: "Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good--except God alone." (mark 10:18) If Jesus responded in this way, the crowds must have seen him as some kind of tzadik, a particularly righteous man who could perform miracles. But Jesus goes a step further. He says no one is truly good (much less righteous) except God. He was not deflecting their claims of his righteousness, not at all. He was trying to shift their perspective of him from being simply a righteous man, equating him with merely a prophet or merely a miracle worker, which might have included a handful of other people in that society at that time. He was pointing to his exclusivity of his Lordship rather than his inclusion in the category of other "righteous" men.
בסייד
Today's daily portion of scripture gives an account of a blind beggar calling out to Yeshua--he calls him both Son of David and Rabbi. Yeshua asks him "What do you want me to do for you?". The blind man said, "Rabbi, I want to see." And, because of his faith, says the text, the man's sight was restored. (mark 10:46-52)
Most non-Jews read the accounts of Jesus and the miracles as something really extraordinary. Of course it's extraordinary--to have a blind man see again! But I mean extraordinary in a different way. While I was reading, I was reminded of the stories of tzadikim, mostly rabbis in the past, who have performed miracles like this. Perhaps, in his day, Jesus was regarded as a tzadik, a truly righteous person whose prayers were heard by God. Perhaps these people had seen miracle workers before, or had heard stories from their parents and grandparents. Certainly, the prophets had performed miracles. Therefore, the idea of a man doing miracles was not so outlandish in that society as it might be in ours. So what made Jesus different from the other prophets and tzadikim?
Wikipedia entry on tzadik:
While the tzadik status, according to its above definitions, is not necessarily related to the ability to perform or call upon miracles, the term tzadik is often used loosely by the Talmud to indicate those who have achieved especially outstanding piety and holiness. In this context, the tzadik's prayers are considered especially potent, as the Talmud states: "A tzadik decrees and the Holy One (blessed be He) fulfills."
Many definitions of Tzadik have been passed down through the ages, including the one mentioned above from the Talmud, but the definition I am interested in is from the Bible.
"All have turned aside, they have together become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one." psalm 14:3
"We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all." - isaiah 53:6
Scripture explains that there is not only nobody who is tzadik, but also no one who is good.
That means even the especially pious rabbis or miracle works are not truly righteous, in the complete sense of the word.
Jesus himself purported the view that no man is truly good: "Why do you call me good?" Jesus answered. "No one is good--except God alone." (mark 10:18) If Jesus responded in this way, the crowds must have seen him as some kind of tzadik, a particularly righteous man who could perform miracles. But Jesus goes a step further. He says no one is truly good (much less righteous) except God. He was not deflecting their claims of his righteousness, not at all. He was trying to shift their perspective of him from being simply a righteous man, equating him with merely a prophet or merely a miracle worker, which might have included a handful of other people in that society at that time. He was pointing to his exclusivity of his Lordship rather than his inclusion in the category of other "righteous" men.
Monday, January 4, 2010
reconciling to the truth
"Jews and Christians must relearn together to read the Hebrew Bible, and the New Testament restored to its historic and linguistic context. They will see that these texts should unite them rather than separate them, and should inspire in them an aspiration for salvation, rather than exasperate their rancors and hatreds, these unpardonable crimes against the spirit of unity and love that flows from our common springs. This unity of Christianity with Israel will remain only a pious wish so long as Jews and Christians have not clarified the historical and theological disputes that have so seriously divided them." -Andre Chouraqui, prominent Algerian-Jewish writer from his book "A Man in Three Worlds"
.
It's vital for people who claim to trust in Jesus/Yeshua as their spiritual leader and Lord to learn about His Jewishness, the context of His life and teachings. How can you trust in a man you don't even know? If you know Jesus as something other than He is, completely neglecting the Hebrew Scriptures in sole favor of the New Testament, you might be in danger of not following the man He really was and claimed to be.
.
It's vital for people who claim to trust in Jesus/Yeshua as their spiritual leader and Lord to learn about His Jewishness, the context of His life and teachings. How can you trust in a man you don't even know? If you know Jesus as something other than He is, completely neglecting the Hebrew Scriptures in sole favor of the New Testament, you might be in danger of not following the man He really was and claimed to be.
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